I once trekked through the Himalayas for 9 days, for 6 to 8 hours each day (at 12,000+ feet elevation). Every other day, we’d cross a high pass (16,000+ feet elevation). And I changed my life… with blisters.

 

As we were getting ready, I took a look at my boots. They were in terrible shape, especially the soles!

They were worn down… smooth… which didn’t bode well for trekking through rocky/snowy/icy/wet terrain. And nobody in India (at least in Leh) sells size 13 boots.

(The first store owner that I asked, actually laughed out loud.)

So I walked around the small city of Leh, Ladakh (pop. 25,000) looking for a cobbler. I found one whose shop was literally him: his tools and materials set up on the curb.

I asked if he could fix the soles. He said yes, explaining that he’d replace them with a strip of airplane tire rubber!

I came back the next day to pick up my boots. The work was superb, and now I was all set to hike with airplane wheels under my feet.

Then came the upsell. (Insert dramatic music here.)
The cobbler offered to fix the other parts of my boots that needed help.

He pointed out some spots where the seams were separating, a broken aglet, and a rip at the back… where the boots were touching my Achilles’ tendons.

So, being grateful for his good work and since I was already planning to give him money in exchange for services, I said yes… especially because I could see that he was adding value to our exchange.

(And psychologically, once you say, “yes” it’s easier to say, “yes” again.)

Then we started trekking: 4 donkeys, 3 friends, 2 Tibetan guides, and 1 horse. And after about 45 minutes into day 1… of a 6-8 hour day… of a 9-day trek… my Achilles tendons started to hurt.

Both of them!

The cobbler had fixed the back of both boots… and in doing so, left a little lump of material that had been rubbing against my tendons, for almost 2 hours now. The only thing I could do was take my knife and cut the lumps of material out.

But the damage was already done!

Two tremendous blisters, a long mountainous trek ahead, and an incredible amount of anger and self-judgment for saying, “yes” to the upsell. I covered the blisters with moleskin, put the boots back on, and started walking.

I once heard Stedman Graham (business leader and spouse of Oprah Winfrey) say that winning means that you keep getting up every time you fall.

For me, winning meant taking one step (ouch!)… and then the next (ouch!)… and then the next (ouch, ouch, OUCH!)… for minutes, hours, and days after days after days… along the rocky terrain, over the tops of mountains (from 12,000’ to 16,000’ every other day), and back down slippery slopes.

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. OUCH!

But even though I may have been “winning” I was NOT happy.

“Why me?! Why this?! Why now?! I just did a volunteer project!”

[Shakes fist at sky.]

Drama, drama, drama. “Victim”, “victim”, victim. Blame, blame, blame.

(“It wasn’t MY fault!”)

LESSON #1
On about day 3, I had a revelation. The ouch(!) of every single step (although it hurt like hell) gave me a gift. It anchored me to the present, to nearly every single moment of that entire trek.

I couldn’t space out or become distracted because of the consistent, ongoing stabs of pain.

No, the pain was not fun. But being present was a gift. I got to witness every beautiful mountain peak, every cloud, every rock that I passed. (If you’ve never seen the Tibetan Plateau, it is a true wonder of this Earth.)

I was alive and aware, wholly and completely, in every moment. There was no tomorrow. No yesterday. Just right now, right here.

The world was complete. I felt complete. And I was completely part of the world around me.

LESSON #2
This is the lesson that took a dozen years to fully understand.

It’s the difference between and suffering and how so much of everyday suffering is a choice that we make.

The blisters and the footsteps I took caused pain. Pain after pain. Lots of pain.

But the stories, blame, drama, and “why me?” caused the suffering.

Pain is a part of our everyday, human experience: mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, existential.

Not fun, but it’s in the contract.

🙂

Everyday suffering is optional. And you can choose to stop it right now.

So the next time you feel yourself getting caught in stories, blame, drama, and/or “why me?”… remember the 4 S’s.

1. Stop (feeding the stories).

2. Soften your face.

3. Smile.

4. Start again (with whatever you were doing/thinking/saying before stories took over).

Don’t use this as a “stick” to repress your experiences.

Do use it as a way to get unstuck… when you’re spinning out into the stories and drama.

• • •

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